Hi! I’m Kristal
In this episode, I sit down with Erin to explore what happens when a DNA discovery reshapes everything you thought you knew and how truth, compassion and community can support healing and integration.
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“Keeping a secret worked for them for forty-two years. It didn’t work for me.”
Discovering the Truth Through DNA: Erin’s NPE Story
In this episode of Because She’s Adopted, Kristal Park is joined by Erin, an educator, advocate and community builder whose life was forever changed after a DNA test revealed she is an NPE Non-Parent Expected.
What began as a search into family history became a profound reckoning with truth, secrecy and identity. Erin shares her experience discovering that the man listed on her birth certificate was not her biological father and that the truth had been quietly held for decades by the people closest to her. Rather than allowing that discovery to fracture her sense of self, Erin chose a different path, one rooted in compassion, integration and collective healing.
This conversation explores what happens after the truth comes out, how family systems respond when long-held secrets surface and what it looks like to turn personal loss into purpose.
What Is an NPE?
An NPE (Non-Parent Expected or Non-Paternity Event) is a term used when a DNA test reveals that a person’s biological parent is not who they were led to believe. While originally a genealogical term, it has come to describe a lived experience shared by many adoptees, donor-conceived individuals and late-discovery family members.
With the rise of consumer DNA testing, more people are uncovering unexpected truths, often without support, language, or guidance for what comes next.
When the Truth Surfaces
Erin’s discovery came less than a year after caring for the man she believed was her father as he passed away. A DNA test taken out of genealogical curiosity quickly unraveled long-standing assumptions about her origins.
The emotional impact was immediate, but not in the way many expect.
Rather than centering herself, Erin found her first concern was for her mother and her biological father, both of whom had carried the secret for decades. That instinct to protect others would shape how she navigated the aftermath and the boundaries she eventually had to set. Despite reaching out with openness and care, she was ultimately rejected by her biological father after contacting her siblings. The final message she received would mark the end of that relationship.
“Nothing Has Changed and Everything Has Changed”
One of the most powerful themes in this episode is Erin’s ability to hold two truths at once.
She was still herself a wife, a mother, a teacher and yet everything she thought she knew about her origins had shifted. The loss was not just about a person, but about the story she had lived inside her entire life. Erin speaks openly about disenfranchised grief, the expectation to “be grateful” and the way adoptees, NPEs and donor-conceived individuals are often asked to minimize their pain to protect others’ comfort.
From Personal Pain to Collective Healing
Out of necessity, Erin helped co-found Hyruth Hope & Healing, a nonprofit dedicated to providing trauma-informed retreats and community support for NPEs, adoptees, donor-conceived individuals and late-discovery adoptees. What began as a small gathering evolved into multi-day retreats focused not on fixing people, but on creating space to process, integrate and heal together.
The conversation explores why community matters, how lateral harm can emerge in healing spaces and why protecting peace sometimes means stepping back rather than stepping louder.
Ethical Questions Around Donor Conception
This episode also dives into the complex and often overlooked realities of donor conception including anonymous donation, lack of medical transparency and the growing movement toward ethical practices and open records. Erin and Kristal discuss identity, genetic bewilderment and the long-term impact of secrecy on individuals and future generations.
A Life Built on Truth, Not Silence
Erin is clear about one thing: she was never looking for a replacement father. She was looking for honesty, connection and the freedom to no longer be someone else’s secret. Through advocacy, education and deep respect for lived experience, she continues to create spaces where people can feel seen − without comparison, hierarchy, or erasure.
Listen to the Episode
Because She’s Adopted: Discovering the Truth Through DNA
Available now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube.
If this episode resonates with you, or if you’re navigating your own discovery, please consider sharing your story.
Listen to this episode on the
Because She Was Adopted Podcast
Now, we’d love to hear from you.
What part of Erin’s story stayed with you most?
Have you experienced a DNA discovery, an NPE moment, adoption, donor conception, or the unraveling of a long-held family secret?
Your reflections matter. Sharing your experience, or even sitting with someone else’s, can be a powerful step toward understanding and integration.
This community is built on truth-telling, compassion and lived experience. Your voice may be the piece of connection or reassurance someone else needs as they navigate their own path.
Share whatever feels right for you in the comments below.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for helping make this space one of honesty, care and healing.
With gratitude,
Kristal
