Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women: Remembering Kandara Valentine

Remembering Kandara Before the Headlines

Before Kandara became another name associated with Canada’s Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women crisis, she was simply family. She was known for her contagious laugh, her enormous heart, and her determination to care for others. She volunteered in her community, dreamed of having her own apartment, and joked that she would always keep spaghetti in the fridge so nobody visiting her home would ever leave hungry. Her cousin Gloria Ballantyne-Packo explains that Indigenous families are deeply interconnected. Cousins are often raised as siblings, and family extends far beyond biological relationships. Kandara wasn’t simply Gloria’s cousin, she was her little sister. By beginning with Kandara’s life instead of her death, Gloria reminds listeners of an important truth: Every victim was first someone’s child, sibling, cousin, or best friend.

When a Missing Person Isn’t Taken Seriously

The episode explores the terrifying weeks after Kandara disappeared. Gloria describes desperately searching for answers while living two provinces away from her family. As social media posts circulated and loved ones organized community searches, her family felt they had little choice but to lead the search themselves after their missing person report failed to receive the urgency they believed it deserved. She speaks candidly about the emotional toll of waiting, checking phones constantly, fearing every unexpected call, and living in the uncertainty that so many families of missing loved ones know all too well.

The Ongoing Crisis of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women

Kristal and Gloria discuss the broader MMIWG2S+ crisis and the systems that continue to fail Indigenous communities. Rather than reducing the issue to statistics, Gloria reminds listeners that every number represents a real person with dreams, relationships, and a future that was stolen.

Grief Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date

One of the most powerful parts of the conversation centers on grief. Gloria shares how seemingly ordinary moments, like eating spaghetti or receiving an unexpected phone call, can suddenly become overwhelming reminders of loss. She also explains that grieving people don’t necessarily need someone to “fix” their pain. Instead, they need people willing to simply stay present. The conversation offers an important reminder that grief isn’t something people “move on” from. Instead, they learn to carry it while continuing to build a meaningful life.

Turning Heartbreak Into Advocacy

Rather than allowing Kandara’s memory to fade, Gloria and her family founded KB Memorial. Their work includes: annual memorial walks, community education, Red Dress Day awareness initiatives, graduate awards in Kandara’s honour, connecting families with available resources, continuing to advocate for answers in Kandara’s case. Through these efforts, Gloria has transformed unimaginable loss into purposeful action while ensuring Kandara’s name continues to be spoken.

True Crime, Ethics, and Remembering the Person

The episode also explores the growing popularity of true crime media. Gloria acknowledges that documentaries and podcasts can play an important role in raising awareness, especially when they help generate leads in unsolved cases. However, she encourages audiences to remember that these stories involve real families who continue to live with profound grief. The goal should never be entertainment alone. It should be truth, awareness, compassion, and justice.